The best and funniest tweets from the world of football this past week, featuring the unnecessary coverage about Marcus Rashford, the proliferation of ‘official’ sources, and the ignominy of watching Newcastle play ‘football’.
Meanwhile, Manchester City and Tottenham Hotspur put on a Jose Mourinho and Pep Guardiola clinic.
The week started off on a sour note with certain media outlets covering young black footballers in a shocking manner.
Ok, so let’s address this. I’m 23. I came from little. I need to protect not just my future but my family’s too. To do that I made a decision at the beg of 2020 to start investing more in property. Please don’t run stories like this alongside refs to ‘campaigning’. pic.twitter.com/coqla2i19d
— Marcus Rashford MBE (@MarcusRashford) November 15, 2020
Who actually writes this shite? And how does it get published? 😑 https://t.co/WUQeO4H3wC
— Will Hughes (@wjhughes19) November 15, 2020
This video nails it in one.
The moment the wrong type of footballer bought an expensive house. pic.twitter.com/fe35iyOaLq
— The Exploding Heads (@Exploding_Heads) November 16, 2020
Man City lost to Spurs despite dominating the match in terms of shots and possession, an increasingly common feature of their matches these days.
Manchester City are such a strange team. They have built a Death Star, but they keep handing everyone the precise co-ordinates of how to bomb it.
— Musa Okwonga (@Okwonga) November 21, 2020
that is the most Jose vs Pep a half of football can be, there is no more Jose vs Pep possible
— Michael Caley (@MC_of_A) November 21, 2020
The government are going to spend £4billion in 4 years on defence. Who’s Prime Minister, Pep Guardiola?
— Rick (@BanditNanna) November 19, 2020
City fans will never have to endure what Newcastle United fans go through on weekly basis, at least.
The BDSM community will never understand the true masochism of wanting to get rattled 9-0 so that Steve Bruce gets sacked
— Joelinton Travel Tavern (@2__Benitez1892) November 21, 2020
A 2-0 home defeat to Chelsea is just the latest in a long line of limp performances.
— Jonny Sharples (@JonnyGabriel) November 21, 2020
As for Man United, rinse and repeat.
Every Man Utd game is the same now. We start like complete shit. VAR decision goes our way. And then we get a penalty
— Pøgba Senior (@TheSaItIsHere) November 21, 2020
We’re happy for you, Rom.
When she cute and no other player has been around her 😜😂 pic.twitter.com/TrkZlgflCu
— R.Lukaku Bolingoli9 (@RomeluLukaku9) November 19, 2020
The greatest football promo ever came out of Wrexham of all places this week.
A message from our owners-elect…
— Wrexham AFC (@Wrexham_AFC) November 16, 2020
And while we’re on American actors, who knew The Wire’s Clay Davis was a fitbaw fan?
Sheeeeeeeee-it! When they’re playing Stenhousemuir, let me know. https://t.co/e9Q5ZpKuDp
— Isiah Whitlock Jr. (@IsiahWhitlockJr) November 21, 2020
Your boyfriend would rather see a al Fabrizio Romano tweet about his team than a text from you
— SARA (@sarajbz) November 20, 2020
It was a big week for official sources.
Kevin De Bruyne is the best player in the league.
ⓘ 𝗢𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗰𝗲𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗲 pic.twitter.com/ggDFt8KBFa
— Manchester City (@ManCity) November 17, 2020
London is red ❤️ #YaGunnersYa
ⓘ 𝗢𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗰𝗲𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗲
— Mesut Özil (@MesutOzil1088) November 17, 2020
ⓘ 𝗢𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗰𝗲𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗲
— Sevilla FC (@SevillaFC_ENG) November 17, 2020
This is what you call high literature.
A reminder that the reference section of Stuart Pearce’s autobiography is yet to be beaten. pic.twitter.com/80OLtasHEY
— David Hartrick (@DavidHartrick) November 16, 2020
Just give it up, Gary.
Neville trying to convince Solskjaer he can win the title at United…pic.twitter.com/T3ERyhRTKM
— Henry Jackson (@HenryJackson87) November 15, 2020
English is such a beautiful language.
Foreign footballers always have poetic nicknames like O Fenômeno, Der Kaiser or The Swan of Utrecht and then every English player is called things like Macca, Wazza and Slabhead.
— Jonny Sharples (@JonnyGabriel) November 18, 2020
If you ever wanted to know how tall Chris Kamara is, here’s photographic evidence.
Had a great morning 😊 pic.twitter.com/40VzGUM5IF
— Chris Kamara (@chris_kammy) November 16, 2020
Hey, I’m tryna score ova’ here!
— FOX Soccer (@FOXSoccer) November 16, 2020
Ireland’s can’t buy a win since the lockdown.
We're not saying there's any correlation, but Ireland haven't scored since we closed the pubs… #IRLBUL
— Grogans Castle Lounge (@GrogansPub) November 18, 2020
The Irish manager Stephen Kenny came under for showing his team an allegedly anti-English video before the England (he didn’t), but he could have shown the players much worse.
Everyone in a flap about Stephen Kenny’s video, that’s nothing compared to Howard Wilkinson showing us a video on geese flying in formation 😩 i know which video I would have preferred 🤷🏻♂️
— Thomas Butler (@butlertom30) November 20, 2020
Poor Jay Rodriguez gets pigeonholed by his teammates.
When you’re the only player at training with a Burnley accent… pic.twitter.com/Z4qKRIRyB6
— Jay Rodriguez (@JayRodriguez9) November 17, 2020
And finally, we say goodbye to an iconic landmark.
Wembley Stadium walkway ramp being demolished today. It will be replaced by steps pic.twitter.com/W5Q5SwnsIB
— FootballAwaydays (@Awaydays23) November 19, 2020