We all love Kevin Keegan, don’t we? Bless him he just wants to do his best. His Newcastle side were as mental as they were brilliant back in the 90’s and the famous “I would love it!” rant is up there among the most iconic moments in Premier League history.
But that whole tirade is but a drop in the ocean of hilarious lines the former European Footballer of the Year has uttered. Sit back, relax and enjoy the gift that is Kevin Keegan standing in front of a microphone.
There are the times when he just seems a bit confused about the world..
“Goalkeepers aren’t born today until they’re in their late twenties or thirties.” Ok Kevin for the last time, when a man and a woman love each other very much…
“The ref was vertically 15 yards away.” Kevin reveals FIFA’s secret new plan to have refs get about the pitch on jetpacks.
“You’re not just getting international football, you’re getting world football.” Which is much better obviously.
“Nicolas Anelka left Arsenal for £23million and they built a training ground on him.” Sounds painful.
“It’s understandable that people are keeping one eye on the pot and another up the chimney.” Yup, completely understandable.
Then there are the times when something is like something else except that it isn’t…
“In some ways, cramp is worse than having a broken leg.” And yet in almost every other way..
“You get bunches of players like you do bananas, though that is a bad comparison.” Can’t argue with that..
“Shaun Wright-Phillips has got a big heart. It’s as big as him, which isn’t very big, but it’s bigger.” That’s that cleared up.
“They compare Steve McManaman to Steve Heighway and he’s nothing like him, but I can see why – it’s because he’s a bit different.” What?
“I came to Nantes two years ago and it’s much the same today, except that it’s totally different.” Obviously.
One of King Kev’s favourite things to do is to say exactly what he sees. He’d be great on Catchphrase! There’s no one better in the game at stating the bloody obvious!
“He’ll also be very dangerous from set-pieces. That means he’ll be a threat from free-kicks and corners in the final third of the field.” I know Kev.
“Argentina won’t be at Euro 2000 because they’re from South America.” That’s true Kev.
“He scores most of his goals when he’s got the ball.” Yeah. Obviously.
“That would have been a goal if it wasn’t saved.” Oh Jesus.
“The substitute is about to come on – he’s a player who was left out of the starting line-up today.” – I f*#king know Kevin!!
Moments that made the Premier League: Collymore sinks Newcastle in Anfield epic
See also – David Ginola wasn’t a great goal scorer, but a glamorous scorer of great goals