It’s time for another round of the funniest tweets from Football Twitter over the past week.
Mikel Arteta hired a group of pickpockets to keep his Arsenal players on their toes? He must be an exhausting manager to play under.
Pep has made Mikel Arteta a seriously ill man pic.twitter.com/WyJZECiGkV
— ???????????????? (@OfficialVizeh) August 8, 2024
So many questions.
But where did Arteta hire a team of pickpockets from? Is there a website? Did he use an app where magicians and freelancers assemble? Does Arteta have a pre-established relationship with sleight-of-hand experts and simply called in a favour? ????????????
— Carl Anka (@Ankaman616) August 8, 2024
The rioting in Britain this week has attracted all sorts.
When you’re trying to win Serie A in 2008 but have a Shoezone to loot pic.twitter.com/mKrFB4hBbU
— Shutts (@Shuttsapalooza) August 5, 2024
Read – Ten Hag admits new Man United signing ‘needs time’
Too right.
Only one punishment suitable for these people involved in the riots.
Deduct Everton 12 points.— Tony Turner (@tonytiger67) August 5, 2024
Meanwhile in Glasgow…
Changed times at Ibrox ???? pic.twitter.com/Pj8oGSTgT6
— Declan McAuley (@McAuleyDeclan) August 9, 2024
Man City claimed their first Community Shield in five years this weekend, with a ‘little’ help from Bernardo Silva.
Littlesandro letting Bernardo score a header pic.twitter.com/m1iwKjpqmK
— Paddy (@PaddyArsenal) August 10, 2024
Read – Five top players who scored a debut goal in the Community Shield
I wonder what the FA had to hide…
Your annual reminder that the FA was legally forced to change the name of the Charity Shield to the Community Shield in 2002 after they failed to meet the minimum legal transparency requirements of how much money actually went to charities.
— Colin Millar (@Millar_Colin) August 10, 2024
Read – Five of the best ever Community Shield games
We interrupt your regularly scheduled broadcast to bring this highly important update.
Ja und jetzt sehe ich hier gerade Thomas Müller mit einem Pferd pic.twitter.com/WdrbC5Mwxv
— Raúl Babodilla (@BabodillaRaul) August 6, 2024
This is certainly a joke of a book alright.
In the library with my son and found this football joke book and I’m in absolute awe at all of it. Unreal start with zero fact checking pic.twitter.com/AtZc9cpFuX
— Mike Edwards (@_MikeEdwards) August 9, 2024
Read – Why Solanke to Spurs makes perfect sense
That takes me back.
Striker for London Reds on PES pic.twitter.com/aPigoV3QMK
— Cormac O'Malley (@cormacpro) August 5, 2024
Man City have finally been penalised by the Premier League – but not for what you think.
The Alvarez sale will mean Manchester City can now afford to enter the pitch late 902 times, a key factor in discussions. [Express]
— Howard Hockin (@howiehok3434) August 6, 2024
Sometimes the jokes write themselves.
Alright, Declan Rice. pic.twitter.com/wZjVFJgaUq
— Cultras Football Podcast (@thecultraspod) August 7, 2024
The first Fantasy Premier League deadline of 2024/25 is right around the corner.
— Prop Joe (@FPLProp) August 7, 2024
Reece James is injured again?!
If he was a horse they would have put him down by now https://t.co/SyK8kobqZQ
— ???????????????????????????????? (@sh4mrock1) August 10, 2024
Read – Chelsea’s most expensive academy player sales
Chelsea need to leave some goalies for the other clubs.
Sensible business this. You never know when you might have eight injured goalkeepers https://t.co/AvABl7eTX0
— Crate Digger (@FPLCrateDigger) August 8, 2024
Football Manager gamers are approximately a million times more coherent with their transfer strategy than Chelsea.
This is literally Football Manager in real life ???? pic.twitter.com/2a9xMpCgWs
— TLV (@TheLampardView) August 9, 2024
This is the only plausible explanation.
Working on the theory that Chelsea is like the bus in Speed and must keep up a minimum of one signing a day or they explode
— Billy Carpenter (@billycarpy) August 9, 2024
Not sure many FM players could translate their in-game habits to real life, though.
???????????? pic.twitter.com/iDGQZi9Ys7
— Out of Context Football Manager (@nocontextfm1) August 9, 2024
Scottish football is so back.
The beautiful game pic.twitter.com/mY1kHkFvuF
— Gordie Bryce (@GordieBryce) August 10, 2024
Emile Smith Rowe’s first post-match interview at Fulham was hijacked by two of his teammates. Alex Iwobi really commits to the role of touchline reporter.
Interview = Hijacked ???? pic.twitter.com/qr4c7XqODL
— Fulham Football Club (@FulhamFC) August 5, 2024
Fantasy Premier League – The five best forwards for your FPL team this season
Kylian Mbappe is set to be the main free-taker at Real Madrid.
https://t.co/LexsJRInLO pic.twitter.com/yOV5M5Fh31
— Has Mbappe scored a free-kick ? (@HasKM7scoredaFK) August 6, 2024
The Canada spy saga was rumbled by a drone nerd in the New Zealand team. Amazing.
"I hear this noise, and I'm like, oh my gosh, is that a Mavic Pro?!" ????
New Zealand defender @stotty_13 tells @sammymewy how they found out about the Canada drone ???????? pic.twitter.com/LplCEw0p8P
— The Women's Game (@WomensGameMIB) August 5, 2024
Read – Five of last summer’s signings who must improve in 2024/25
Read Also – The five most expensive transfer sales by Premier League clubs
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